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If you are to be with me full time, I need to know that you can handle being left to your own devices.”“You could have told me this,” Amaya said.“Yes. I could have,” Wesley said. “But in the future, when I have been too busy to play with you and you have been neglected for a week or two, you’ll look back on the hell you went through these last few months and realize that a week of neglect is nothing.”“But far more important, Amaya, is that you have grown in the last few weeks. When a submissive like you first discovers your urges, they fall into a mad kind of love. They accept anything and will do anything, even things they really don’t want to do. It would break my heart, Amaya, if you agreed to be everything for me but then months later realized this was not for you.”He made sense, but she was still pissed. It was ultimately a cruel thing to do, and she had to wonder if he picked the harder method just to push her. If he had told her that he was going to leave her alone for three. My brother knows about my anxiety because we always talk about in family therapy. I can’t even explain it, nor do I want to. This feeling stays with me even when we reach school.I think everybody is judging me, even those who I don’ know. Why am I so ugly? Why is everyone better looking then me? Those thoughts are only a few of the million I have every day. My brother would run off ahead with no trace of anxiety at all. Lucky bastard. I walked into school and Daniel was at his locker. Daniel had a big nose; he was skinny and very extraverted. He was social. I was very jealous of him so I would alter my mind to think that he was just annoying.I walked to my locker and thought: “Is the way I’m standing weird and gay looking?” A key word…gay. I wasn’t sure of my sexuality. I had a girlfriend, we did nothing, she broke up with me. She gave this bullshit reason that I forget right now. I opened my locker and took out my books for my first period. Science. As I walked to class I tried not.
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